Why are some people control freaks?
The ironic thing is, control freaks tend to act the most out of control, the most freakishly, directly as a result of their need to be in control. I don't like control freaks at all. Because ultimately, situations and people can't and should never be controlled. Don't even try. Control freaks need to be sent away, shipped off to some faraway place, and instead we need to bring in people who are able to see outside of themselves. Replace the control freaks with people who realize that other people are as valuable as they are.
Then, the world would be a much better place.
27 February 2006
22 February 2006
INTEGRITY is what's on my mind today.
When I was in line at the airport the other day, a bunch of soldiers were getting off a plane and the whole airport erupted into applause as they walked by. I just froze, just stood there. I didn't clap, even though I support our troops. I do support them. I can't imagine what it must be like to do what they do. But at the same time, I'm 100% against this war and I am disgusted by some of the things our troops have done, like torturing Iraqi prisoners. But why didn't I clap for these soldiers? I'm not against them, I'm against what other people are doing. I don't really know. I just know that at that moment, I felt that clapping for them meant that I supported the war. Was there integrity in holding my applause?
I'm also in a bit of a spiritual dilemma. I am part of the Orthodox church, but I strongly disgree with its attitude toward women. Yet there is so much about the Orthodox church that I love - the liturgy, the tradition, the mystical piety. But then, I think about the answer I would give someone who asked me why I'd stay in a church that doesn't allow me to exercise my spiritual gifts to their full potential. There are no good answers to that question. And I complain about the Orthodox church an awful lot, as much as I say I love it and don't want to leave it. Is there integrity in my choice to remain there?
Am I a person who lives her life with integrity?
When I was in line at the airport the other day, a bunch of soldiers were getting off a plane and the whole airport erupted into applause as they walked by. I just froze, just stood there. I didn't clap, even though I support our troops. I do support them. I can't imagine what it must be like to do what they do. But at the same time, I'm 100% against this war and I am disgusted by some of the things our troops have done, like torturing Iraqi prisoners. But why didn't I clap for these soldiers? I'm not against them, I'm against what other people are doing. I don't really know. I just know that at that moment, I felt that clapping for them meant that I supported the war. Was there integrity in holding my applause?
I'm also in a bit of a spiritual dilemma. I am part of the Orthodox church, but I strongly disgree with its attitude toward women. Yet there is so much about the Orthodox church that I love - the liturgy, the tradition, the mystical piety. But then, I think about the answer I would give someone who asked me why I'd stay in a church that doesn't allow me to exercise my spiritual gifts to their full potential. There are no good answers to that question. And I complain about the Orthodox church an awful lot, as much as I say I love it and don't want to leave it. Is there integrity in my choice to remain there?
Am I a person who lives her life with integrity?
21 February 2006
Thoughts from the airport:
I realized on the way back that I really hate flying. Not because I'm afraid of it. It's the hassle of flying that is almost too frustrating for my mental sanity anymore. Maybe next year I'll take a road trip out to Vegas.
And they need to do away with automatic flush toilets. Just get rid of all of them and let us flush when it's time. Here's why.
THE SENSOR DOES NOT HAVE A BRAIN. When any woman walks into a public restroom, she wipes the seat down before she sits. In fact, she wipes it a few times then lays down a bunch of toilet paper. Personal contact with the seat is not an option. And the seat is ALWAYS wet. Always. I have never walked into a public bathroom stall and thought, "Hey, this is so clean! I'm just going to sit right down." No way. The problem is, when you lean over to perform the proper anti-germ procedure, the sensor notices. And what do you do next? Stand back up and pull down your pants so you can now go to the bathroom. When that happens, however, the sensor thinks you've just gotten up. So when you precariously position yourself over the seat and finally sit down in what you think is a safe position, the sensor picks that moment to flush. Now you have nowhere to go. You're stuck there with the toilet flushing underneath you, and in most cases, your hynie gets sprayed. Yes, it's NASTY. The toilet I sat on today in the airport did it THREE TIMES IN A ROW and I hadn't even moved! Nasty. Then of course, when you finally get up with hopefully a shred of dignity left, the toilet doesn't flush. No, the sensor has had enough for a while. If your toilet is new enough, it won't even have a manual flush option and you're left with the humiliation of leaving your stall unflushed for the next person. And what happens when it does flush for you? Sprays the seat and leaves it wet for the next person. It's a vicious, vicious cycle. We need to do away with automatic flush toilets forever. Don't even get me started on the automatic water and soap and paper towels. Things would be different if I ran the world.
I realized on the way back that I really hate flying. Not because I'm afraid of it. It's the hassle of flying that is almost too frustrating for my mental sanity anymore. Maybe next year I'll take a road trip out to Vegas.
And they need to do away with automatic flush toilets. Just get rid of all of them and let us flush when it's time. Here's why.
THE SENSOR DOES NOT HAVE A BRAIN. When any woman walks into a public restroom, she wipes the seat down before she sits. In fact, she wipes it a few times then lays down a bunch of toilet paper. Personal contact with the seat is not an option. And the seat is ALWAYS wet. Always. I have never walked into a public bathroom stall and thought, "Hey, this is so clean! I'm just going to sit right down." No way. The problem is, when you lean over to perform the proper anti-germ procedure, the sensor notices. And what do you do next? Stand back up and pull down your pants so you can now go to the bathroom. When that happens, however, the sensor thinks you've just gotten up. So when you precariously position yourself over the seat and finally sit down in what you think is a safe position, the sensor picks that moment to flush. Now you have nowhere to go. You're stuck there with the toilet flushing underneath you, and in most cases, your hynie gets sprayed. Yes, it's NASTY. The toilet I sat on today in the airport did it THREE TIMES IN A ROW and I hadn't even moved! Nasty. Then of course, when you finally get up with hopefully a shred of dignity left, the toilet doesn't flush. No, the sensor has had enough for a while. If your toilet is new enough, it won't even have a manual flush option and you're left with the humiliation of leaving your stall unflushed for the next person. And what happens when it does flush for you? Sprays the seat and leaves it wet for the next person. It's a vicious, vicious cycle. We need to do away with automatic flush toilets forever. Don't even get me started on the automatic water and soap and paper towels. Things would be different if I ran the world.
I had SUCH a great time this weekend visiting my friends. Vegas is a lot of fun when you see it with the locals. Some highlights included:
1) shopping with Aniela. She and I both love the bargains, and she found a GREAT dress to wear to a wedding in June. You know that excited feeling you get when you try on something you wouldn't normally try but that you just love the moment you see yourself in it? How it makes you so happy and giddy? That was her in this dress. Plus it was on major sale. I made her buy it. (didn't take much convincing)
2) seeing George Wallace, a standup comedian. I laughed so hard my tummy and my face hurt!
3) seeing Lee's face when we filled the fridge up with the case of Yuengling Lager I brought for them. Yuengling was, at first, only available in PA (where the three of us went to college and enjoyed lots of it). It has begun branching out along the east coast, but hasn't gotten as far as Las Vegas yet. It's been 6 years since we graduated, so naturally, he has missed it tremendously.
4) playing with Doug, their sweet lovable greyhound.
5) eating at all the amazing restaurants. Two words: avocado eggrolls. I need to fast for the next week to purge my system of all the food overload.
6) In-N-Out Burger. Animal style.
7) sunny weather.
8) the tiny little old man (I stress the "tiny" and the "little" and the "old" - he had to be about 4"8') at the Italian restaurant who played the accordion. He could kinda play, and I think he hit a few of the notes he tried to sing. Priceless. It made me laugh almost as hard as George Wallace did. It also brought a smile to my face, though, because you could tell it meant the world to this guy to walk around the restaurant and do that. It was too cute.
Even though these are some of the highlights, I enjoyed every minute of my trip. I can't wait till next year!
1) shopping with Aniela. She and I both love the bargains, and she found a GREAT dress to wear to a wedding in June. You know that excited feeling you get when you try on something you wouldn't normally try but that you just love the moment you see yourself in it? How it makes you so happy and giddy? That was her in this dress. Plus it was on major sale. I made her buy it. (didn't take much convincing)
2) seeing George Wallace, a standup comedian. I laughed so hard my tummy and my face hurt!
3) seeing Lee's face when we filled the fridge up with the case of Yuengling Lager I brought for them. Yuengling was, at first, only available in PA (where the three of us went to college and enjoyed lots of it). It has begun branching out along the east coast, but hasn't gotten as far as Las Vegas yet. It's been 6 years since we graduated, so naturally, he has missed it tremendously.
4) playing with Doug, their sweet lovable greyhound.
5) eating at all the amazing restaurants. Two words: avocado eggrolls. I need to fast for the next week to purge my system of all the food overload.
6) In-N-Out Burger. Animal style.
7) sunny weather.
8) the tiny little old man (I stress the "tiny" and the "little" and the "old" - he had to be about 4"8') at the Italian restaurant who played the accordion. He could kinda play, and I think he hit a few of the notes he tried to sing. Priceless. It made me laugh almost as hard as George Wallace did. It also brought a smile to my face, though, because you could tell it meant the world to this guy to walk around the restaurant and do that. It was too cute.
Even though these are some of the highlights, I enjoyed every minute of my trip. I can't wait till next year!
18 February 2006
17 February 2006
Things I thought a lot on the flight to Las Vegas today:
1) Are we there yet?
2) Is the guy next to me aware that he's way over the personal space line?
3) I wonder how many drinks the bachelor party behind me has had now.
4) Are we there yet?
5) There is no way they could have used a real human body to design these seats.
6) Nobody needs to make it their mission to spend the 5-hour flight becoming best friends with the people seated caddy-corner from you, especially when they are loud enough to be heard at the other end of the plane.
7) Are we there yet?
8) Young screaming children should never be allowed to travel.
9) Are we there yet?
But after sitting on the tarmac for 30 minutes breathing recycled air, waiting for the terminal to open up, I walked into McCarran Airport and reached baggage claim, where I saw my beloved friends who I don't get to see enough (because they live on the other side of the country).
And then I thought, a lot,
1) That was all worth it. I love my friends.
1) Are we there yet?
2) Is the guy next to me aware that he's way over the personal space line?
3) I wonder how many drinks the bachelor party behind me has had now.
4) Are we there yet?
5) There is no way they could have used a real human body to design these seats.
6) Nobody needs to make it their mission to spend the 5-hour flight becoming best friends with the people seated caddy-corner from you, especially when they are loud enough to be heard at the other end of the plane.
7) Are we there yet?
8) Young screaming children should never be allowed to travel.
9) Are we there yet?
But after sitting on the tarmac for 30 minutes breathing recycled air, waiting for the terminal to open up, I walked into McCarran Airport and reached baggage claim, where I saw my beloved friends who I don't get to see enough (because they live on the other side of the country).
And then I thought, a lot,
1) That was all worth it. I love my friends.
14 February 2006
Today is Valentine's Day.
I hate Valentine's Day.
I've never really had a good Valentine's Day, regardless of whether I was single or dating somebody.
Some people's way around this ridiculous and completely commercial holiday is to make it about all their loved ones, but that doesn't do it for me. I have Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter and my birthday and Mother's Day and Father's Day and every other holiday for that.
I think Valentine's Day is living proof that marketing controls our country. Like cattle herded into a pasture, we flock to the Hallmark and chocolate stores just like the ads tell us to. The forces that be control how we spend our money, time, and thoughts on this dreadful day. Single women feel awful. Single men just want to get through the day. People in relationships are under this terrible (and completely commercial) pressure to make it the most romantic day of the year. Forget your anniversary, or each other's birthdays, or something else to celebrate. Without unsurpassed romance, you're somehow a failure on Valentine's day. I mean what do we expect on Valentine's day, really? It's just another day of the year. How stupid are we to be convinced by advertising that this day is so drastically different that we ought to expect Hollywood romance and more in order for it to live up to some invisible commercial standard?
Today, I am wearing black.
I hate Valentine's Day.
I've never really had a good Valentine's Day, regardless of whether I was single or dating somebody.
Some people's way around this ridiculous and completely commercial holiday is to make it about all their loved ones, but that doesn't do it for me. I have Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter and my birthday and Mother's Day and Father's Day and every other holiday for that.
I think Valentine's Day is living proof that marketing controls our country. Like cattle herded into a pasture, we flock to the Hallmark and chocolate stores just like the ads tell us to. The forces that be control how we spend our money, time, and thoughts on this dreadful day. Single women feel awful. Single men just want to get through the day. People in relationships are under this terrible (and completely commercial) pressure to make it the most romantic day of the year. Forget your anniversary, or each other's birthdays, or something else to celebrate. Without unsurpassed romance, you're somehow a failure on Valentine's day. I mean what do we expect on Valentine's day, really? It's just another day of the year. How stupid are we to be convinced by advertising that this day is so drastically different that we ought to expect Hollywood romance and more in order for it to live up to some invisible commercial standard?
Today, I am wearing black.
13 February 2006
Don't we all know someone like this... hats off to Billy Joel for some great lyrics.
There's a place in the world for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,
And he's always at home with his back to the wall.
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,
And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross,
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
And there's always a place for the angry young man,
With his fist in the air and his head in the sand.
He's never been able to learn from mistakes,
So he can't understand why his heart always breaks.
But his honor is pure and his courage as well,
And he's fair and he's true and he's boring as hell,
And he'll go to the grave as an angry old man.
There's a place in the world for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,
And he's always at home with his back to the wall.
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,
And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross,
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
And there's always a place for the angry young man,
With his fist in the air and his head in the sand.
He's never been able to learn from mistakes,
So he can't understand why his heart always breaks.
But his honor is pure and his courage as well,
And he's fair and he's true and he's boring as hell,
And he'll go to the grave as an angry old man.
12 February 2006
SNOW!
For the past (almost) 24 hours, we here in NJ have seen a beautiful snowfall that has blanketed our region with about a foot of snow. Now I have to say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE snow. Even though we don't get snow days anymore, the thrill of seeing all that pure white outside and the cozy feeling it brings makes me so happy. I still don't understand why all those silly grown-ups complain about having to shovel and drive in snow. When I was a kid, the excitement of getting a day off school for a snow day was almost too much to contain. I think that has lingered into my adulthood, so that when it snows like this, all I want to do is make snow angels and go sledding and then come inside and dry off and nestle in with some hot chocolate. It still fills me with that childhood excitement.
Even if I have to shovel my front walkway and drive on the icy roads.
For the past (almost) 24 hours, we here in NJ have seen a beautiful snowfall that has blanketed our region with about a foot of snow. Now I have to say, I LOVE LOVE LOVE snow. Even though we don't get snow days anymore, the thrill of seeing all that pure white outside and the cozy feeling it brings makes me so happy. I still don't understand why all those silly grown-ups complain about having to shovel and drive in snow. When I was a kid, the excitement of getting a day off school for a snow day was almost too much to contain. I think that has lingered into my adulthood, so that when it snows like this, all I want to do is make snow angels and go sledding and then come inside and dry off and nestle in with some hot chocolate. It still fills me with that childhood excitement.
Even if I have to shovel my front walkway and drive on the icy roads.
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